Vegans are shameless groomers. I know one vegan who remembers every conversion she’s ever made. There are hundreds, and she keeps their names in a ledger book. When she dies, that book will be her ticket to doggie heaven. My evangelism is insignificant compared to hers, but a few of my conquests are noteworthy. (I should interject here that vegans are like fishermen; they exaggerate the size and number of their catch.) More

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