It turns out Andrew Windsor is a still a p-word

On 17 October, prince Andrew Windsor – the friend of notorious paedophile Jeffrey Epstein – announced he’s giving up his royal titles. We regret to inform you, however, that Andrew is still a p-word.

That’s right.

And by ‘p-word’ we mean ‘prince’.

Apologies if you thought we were accusing him of being some other sort of p-word.

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note:


Prince Andrew, now the former duke of York

The titles and memberships that Andrew is giving up include:

  • The Duke of York.
  • His Royal Highness (HRH).
  • Member of the Order of the Garter.

What a silly fucking country this is, really – absolute Harry Potter shit.

In a statement to the good people of Great Britain, the oft-accused prince said:

In discussion with The King, and my immediate and wider family, we have concluded the continued accusations about me distract from the work of His Majesty and the Royal Family.

I have decided, as I always have, to put my duty to my family and country first. I stand by my decision five years ago to stand back from public life.

With His Majesty’s agreement, we feel I must now go a step further.

I will therefore no longer use my title or the honours which have been conferred upon me. As I have said previously, I vigorously deny the accusations against me.

How very noble of him to put others first, but just imagine the trouble he could have saved if he’d put his brain before his other organ.

And lest we forget, this is what he stands accused of:

Why now?

Andrew’s latest humiliation seems out of the blue, which means there could be more accusations on the way:

Speaking on the memoir of Andrew-accuser Virginia Giuffre, the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire said:

I’ve read Virginia Giuffre’s posthumous memoir which is published on Monday. It contains searing details of the sexual abuse & cruelty she suffered at the hands of Epstein and Maxwell, as well as details of the 3 times she says she was forced to have sex with Prince Andrew (which he denies).

Tragically, Giuffre died earlier this year. Her brother Sky Roberts said the following in response to Andrew giving up his titles:

We have shed a lot of happy and sad tears today. I think happy because in a lot of ways this vindicates Virginia.

All the years of work that she put in is now coming to some sort of justice, and these monsters can’t escape from it – the truth will find its way out.

Speaking on the other survivors of Jeffrey Epstein, Sky Roberts said:

It’s just a joyous moment for them because we’re finally getting some sense of acknowledgement, like ‘this actually happened, what we’re saying is the truth’

Others have pointed out that the US is on the verge of releasing more Epstein Files:

We’re not sure why Donald Trump’s Republicans are dragging their feet on this, but:

Justice coming?

Prince Andrew famously claimed he ‘couldn’t sweat‘ in a Newsnight interview, but he’s clearly sweating now.

By the end of all this, he might not even be a prince. If that happens, it’s because the people agree he is most definitely a p-word.

Featured image via Chatham House (Wikimedia)

By Willem Moore

This post was originally published on Canary.