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Reform’s latest attack ad against Zack Polanski is just… embarrassing…

Mahatma Gandhi famously once said:
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.

Going off Reform’s new attack ad, the party is somewhere between ‘laugh’ and ‘fight’ when it comes to Zack Polanski. This is an impressive turnaround given that the lad has only been in charge of the Green Party since September.

The “breast whisperer” Zack Polanski

The video is presented by Zia Yusuf and only Zia Yusuf. This could cause problems for Reform politicians and supporters, of course, as they’ve made it clear that televisual products should reflect the UK’s white majority:

In the video, Yusuf gets straight to the issue of hypnotism:

This is Zach Polanski, aka the breast whisperer… Yes, Zach is a 43-year-old hypnotist who has tried to grow the size of women’s breasts by hypnotising them.

Clearly worried about libel, the video shows just enough footage to make it clear that Zack Polanski didn’t market himself as some sort of tit wizard. What the video leaves out is the following (as reported by Ed Sykes for the Canary):

[Polanski] clarified that he never believed he could enlarge breasts with hypnotherapy, that he never charged people to try and do it, that the Sun misrepresented him, and that he had apologised a day later. He even got a few laughs by saying “lots of men got in touch with me asking if I could help with other body parts”.

So basically:

  • The Sun asked him to have a go.
  • He did.
  • They misrepresented his beliefs vis-à-vis his ability to cast chest magic.
  • He apologised.

As is often the case, the moral of this story is that you should never deal with the Sun.

Bullshit

Politicians of all stripes are going heavy on the hypnotism stuff, and yet the Greens have only surged. If the smear is this ineffective now, imagine the diminishing returns come the 2029 election.

It’s worth noting that it’s difficult for politicians to attack people for past professions – even when that past profession is ‘hypnotist’ – because ‘politician’ ranks among the least trusted jobs in the UK:

Trust in politicians, journalists, bankers, and others - poll, polling

You’ll notice that ‘bankers’ aren’t particularly trusted either.

Now guess where Zia Yusuf used to work?

That’s right – Goldman Sachs – one of the companies which caused the 2008 global financial crisis.

So in summary, we’ve got a politician (bad) who worked for a bank (bad) which caused a global financial meltdown (bad), and he’s telling us we shouldn’t trust Zack Polanski because he tried to do magic one time.

I dunno, Zia – I think I’m gonna go with the guy who isn’t linked to the banking firm which fucked up the global economy – a company which massively inflated private debt by preying on impoverished families who just wanted to buy their own home.

Into it

Now that we’ve got past the first sentence, we should look at some of the other points Yusuf made about Zack Polanski, starting with this:

Zack believes that this country should have no borders whatsoever. Not more immigration or more asylum. This guy literally wants Britain to have no borders at all.

While the Green Party see “a world without borders” as an ambition, their plan right now is to “implement a fair and humane system of managed immigration where people can move if they wish to do so”.

Next point:

He wants to stand down and destroy Britain’s nuclear deterrent while Vladimir Putin marauds through Ukraine.

Unfortunately, I do actually agree with this. Ukraine is one of only four countries to have given up their nukes, and they did so with security assurances from all the major global players. How did that work out?

On the flip side, when was the last time you heard anyone talking about invading North Korea? I’ll tell you when; it was before they had nukes.

In terms of the Greens’ policy of nuclear disarmament, it will be interesting to see if it holds now that the membership has doubled. Nuclear disarmament has not been a broad topic of discussion in the UK for the past several decades, but it will be now that a major party supports it. Maybe the Greens will respond with a strong argument in favour; maybe the new members will vote against disarmament.

A Green Party recruitment drive

Either way, that’s enough agreeing with banker boy – on to the next point about Zack Polanski:

He wants to legalise all drugs and outlaw landlords.

Okay, so now you can see why the Greens have successfully been able to turn Yusuf’s little video into a recruitment drive:

To address Yusuf’s points, shelter is too important for it to be managed by hundreds of thousands of indifferent uncles with spare rooms and bungalows. Imagine if we were so flippant with the other essentials, and every time you wanted something to eat or drink you had to go through some local dipshit who ignored all the safety standards, charged you through the nose, and got pissy whenever you asked why your sandwich had shit in it.

On to drugs, you don’t have to imagine what it would be like to live in a country with a plentiful supply of narcotics, because that’s the country you live in. Legalising the trade would simply be a way to eliminate the criminal syndicates and to ensure a degree of safety for users.

Yusuf and Reform have decided to side with the criminal drug dealers, it seems; that or they think they can successfully end the War on Drugs (a claim which would be a million times more ridiculous than the idea that you can hypnotise breasts bigger).

Zack Polanski’s response

This is how Zack Polanski responded to the ad:

Seeing how well this keeps going for the Green Party, you could actually believe Polanski has hypnotised Reform into supporting his membership drive.

Featured image via Z979 (Wikimedia) / Barold

By Willem Moore

This post was originally published on Canary.