It’s Blackpool week on Strictly Come Dancing! The one we’ve all been waiting for, but not as much as the contestants.
The show starts with a pro routine and not just any pro routine, cos Steps join them, so it’s an absolutely fucking iconic routine full of their songs and choreography. I’m not ashamed to admit I had a tear in my eye at the nostalgia. Imagine getting to do the fucking Tragedy dance with actual STEPS.
Surprise! Nobody’s going home (well, except La Voix)
After a judge’s intro choreo fail from Claudia (again), Tess and Claudia share that La Voix and Aljaz have had to withdraw from the competition. Previously in the week it was announced La Voix had been injured, so they’d just be missing this week, but following an MRI they’ve had to pull out. La Voix was such a big part of the show that she’ll be a huge miss. Due to this, nobody will be going home this week. The contestants find this out live and react by having a massive group hug on stage acting like one of them escaped murder.
Because we’re at Blackpool, we have a few changes: the floor is bouncier, there are backing dancers, and the auditorium is just to the side of stage so there’s constant screaming.
So on with the show!
Strictly Come Dancing: the dances
Lewis and Katya dancing the Charleston
Because of Lewis’s drawling Teeside accent, when he says “I’m really looking forward to this one”, he sounds like a teenager forced to clean their room. There’s even more lads backflipping all over the shop than usual. The dance isn’t really that different from their couple’s choice a few weeks ago, but the jazz cover of I Bet You Look Good on the Dancefloor is banging. They score 40, and it was good, but come on.
Balvinder and Julian dancing the Argentine tango
I always find it hilarious that Blackpool is the pinnacle of ballroom dancing, because why the fuck is going to Blackpool Aussie Julian’s dream come true? The dance is good and on any other Strictly series, Bal would be at the top, but imo she’s lucky there’s no dance off this week. This dance with her sprawling over other female dances, then being the filling in an AT manwich, is gloriously bisexual though. They score 33 and are fucking thrilled.
Tess talks to Ashley Roberts and Danny Mac, Strictly alumni who will be taking part in the pro number on Sunday. Alarmingly, Danny Mac has the opposite of DILFed. There’s also a glorious moment where Tess malfunctions live after realising she said “later on” and broke the illusion that the results show is filmed tomorrow, which nobody believes anymore anyway.
Amber and Nikita dancing the quickstep
We’ve cracked out the Nanas again as they’ve bundled up Amber’s Nana on a fucking open-top bus in November. They’re dancing to Reach by S Club 7, which is fucking excellent and exactly as camp as you’d imagine. However, there are quite a lot of lifts, which nobody picks up on being illegal in this dance on Strictly. Nikita reveals his parents are in the audience, and his dad looks like someone who did not agree to be on camera that much. There’s something a little bit condescending about how they don’t really celebrate getting 9’s, and they score 36.
Karen and Carlos dancing the paso doble
They go to see a fortune teller who tells them they’ll be in the dance off, then when she sees their reaction, hastily changes her answer to “NO!” The staging of this dance is fucking stunning, lots of occult and witchy vibes with the dancers contorting themselves in big red floaty numbers. It’s a fucking gorgeous dance, and I could see Kaz in the final. Craig says, “That’s how you score a ten”, then gives her a 9. They score 39.
Tess speaks to Layton Williams and Jay McGuinness, who are also in the pro routine. Layton acts like two years was ages ago, and Jay brings up the prospect of an All-Star series, causing Tess to malfunction again. The best part of this segment is the kid a few rows behind Jay trying to get on telly tbh.
Alex and Johannes dancing their couple’s choice
Alex opens up about having uterine cancer and having a hysterectomy, and I cry. We also meet her husband, who absolutely ADORES her. The dance is brilliant, and it’s to a mash-up of Look at Me by Geri Halliwell and History Repeating by the Propellerheads and Shirley Bassey, which is fucking incredible. The male Strictly dancers are also all wearing little string vests and velvet gloves, and that’s exactly as hot as you’re imagining. In the Clauditorium, Claudia says of Alex’s husband, “We all fell in love with him. I don’t know if he’s interested in that”. Unreal. They score 35.
George and Alexis dancing the salsa
After weeks of his fans complaining he’s wasted by being made to do TikTok dances, he does about eight TikTok dances, shimmies a bit, throws Alexis about and does some backflips. Utter bullshit and definitely not a salsa. Honestly, so bored of this now. They score 39, which is remarkable for a dance with so little actual dancing in it.
The results show
As nobody is going home, the Strictly results show is basically just an extra one with lots more pro numbers and less fear.
I selfishly went to see Wicked For Good this evening so for one night only here’s Best Friend Gem with the results show:
Kai opens the show looking straight down the camera with his forearms out and I was absolutely RUINED. We then get the returning celebs dance. Ashley’s Jive is lush, Jay’s is awesome but it’s definitely less high energy than back in the day. Layton’s back with Nikita and they were SO ROBBED their year, fucking racism and homophobia. It finishes with Danny’s samba and although he’s DILFed down he’s got his shirt open. For the finale they all come back together and have a shimmy. It makes me want Jay’s suggestion of an All Stars – could be a good option for next year as a bit of a reset.
Tess and Claud are both together in the Clauditorium so it’s chaos. They ask Nikita “how do you feel about nobody going home” and he goes “I didn’t understand what Tess said”, gorgeous beautiful himbo baby. Lewis has got 10 10s so far this series, obscene. Claud asks Alex about her dog and he see him dressed in his Strictly outfit and honestly it’s cuter than anything George has done in 9 weeks. Bal gets a cream tea to complete her Blackpool bucket list.
Lewis Capaldi comes on and I go for a wee. Nothing personal to him, I just really needed a wee. Would absolutely live for him doing Strictly though, gimme it in 2026. The judges are next and the only bit I’m commenting on is a) Shirley’s dress is fucking cute and b) Motsi looks like she’s wearing a giant’s karate outfit. Because basically this is the third recap of last night and it’s making me lose the will to live.
To end the show we get La Voix and Aljaz’s best bits and their final interview. She says “I came on as a minority – a redhead”. Aljaz says he’s going to miss how much La Voix made him laugh, and that he made two friends for life – La Voix on a weekend and Chris during the week. And then La Voix cried and I cried and oh Lordy. She praises Aljaz and that she’s gonna be braver and more confident because of him.. They get to have One Last Dance which means she got to dance at Blackpool. She’s lowered in on a giant light up heart to “love is in the air”, just perfection.
They’re off from Strictly… but not yet…
All in all, these two have been a genuinely wonderful episodes. More than anything, it felt like Claudia and Tess were realising just how much they were going to miss Strictly. And more and more each week, it’s clear how the show can’t go on without them.
But hey – they’ve got a few weeks left. So, until then – keeeeep dancing!
Featured image via the Canary
This post was originally published on Canary.