Labour can’t stop talking about Zack Polanski’s tits

When the Green Party elected Zack Polanski as its leader, it wasn’t long before Labour cracked this one out:

After hearing this, most people went on the following journey, in which they:

  • Thought ‘that’s a bit weird‘.
  • Found out the Sun came up with the ‘breast enlargement’ stuff and passed it off as Polanski’s shtick.
  • Thought ‘I probably shouldn’t be surprised that Labour and the Sun pushed a false narrative‘.
  • Learned that the Green Party have better policies than Labour.
  • Joined the Green Party.

Despite this propaganda push having never, ever landed, Labour MPs can’t stop pushing it:

With 2025 coming to a close, we think Labour’s New Year’s resolution should be to come up with new material.

Is this the breast they’ve got?

This latest spat began with housing minister Steve Reed calling Zack Polanski a “con artist” who fooled desperate women with dreams of D cups. Polanski immediately shot back:

Polanski also added an addendum:


The above is taken from Paul Holden’s The Fraud, and it details the allegedly dubious activities of Reed in Croydon (you can read that chapter in full on the Inside Croydon blog). They summarised the story as follows (emphasis added):

To recap: hacked data, taken from an independent local news site, was used to identify the site’s confidential informants, who were providing the public with details of Croydon’s poor governance. This stolen information was then used to launch Labour Party disciplinary proceedings against the site’s sources. All of this was known to some of the most powerful people in the Labour Party bureaucracy — General Secretary David Evans and Alex Barros-Curtis [the party’s executive director of legal affairs; since 2024, a Labour MP] most notably — who were copied in, allegedly with the approval of Steve Reed.

The kicker: at the time, Reed was the party’s shadow justice minister.

Oh, and speaking of ‘con men’, if Reed isn’t one himself, it’s unclear why a landlord association would react so positively to his promotion to housing secretary:

Back to the blood sports, Polanski noted that Reed dresses like Donald Trump:

Reed copied Trumps ‘drill, baby drill’ slogan with his own ‘build, baby build’, which is what’s written on those red hats:

It’s unclear why he did this, given that Trump isn’t linked to home building, and the British public dislike Trump. The only logical explanation seems to be that Reed isn’t very bright, and when he saw Trump had happy fans with red hats, he thought: ‘I’ll have me some of that‘.

That or Polanski hypnotised him, obviously.

Bigger problems

Labour have a bigger problem besides stale propaganda, and it’s that whenever they say anything, it becomes an opportunity for everyone to shout about how much they hate Labour. As an example, this was one of the replies to Reed:

It’s a shame hypnosis isn’t magic, because if it was, someone could hypnotise Reed into not being like this.

Featured image via Barold

By Willem Moore

This post was originally published on Canary.