{"id":6601,"date":"2021-01-10T16:16:48","date_gmt":"2021-01-10T16:16:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.radiofree.org\/?p=148247"},"modified":"2021-01-10T16:16:48","modified_gmt":"2021-01-10T16:16:48","slug":"transcript-of-a-telephone-call-to-president-trump","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/2021\/01\/10\/transcript-of-a-telephone-call-to-president-trump\/","title":{"rendered":"Transcript of a Telephone Call to President Trump"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>
\nCaller<\/strong>: Don, as your departure draws near, we\u2019re calling to thank you for your service. As you know we had some serious doubts about you at the outset \u2014 loose cannon, unguarded comments, and some crazy foreign policy ideas. But hey, our concerns were short-lived and we\u2019re beyond grateful for the tax breaks, subsidies and deregulation. And your use of faux populism and race-baiting to keep the rabble in line, divert their attention and keep them off our backs was honestly \u2014 just masterful.<\/p>\n

Trump<\/strong>: Yeah, just tremendous! Just tremendous! Best ever!<\/p>\n

Caller<\/strong>: Yes, well…that is until that unfortunate brouhaha over at the Capitol building the other day when some of your followers took your rhetoric a bit too seriously. I mean, we just can\u2019t have buffalo-horned buffoons traipsing down the halls, cowboy boots perched on Pelosi\u2019s desk, paintings knocked askew, toilets left un-flushed and cigarette butts lying around in the world\u2019s shining citadel of democracy.(Audible chuckles). And my God, a cop was killed by a couple of your morons. Don! Enough already!<\/p>\n

Trump<\/strong>: Uhhhhh. Bad.Very Bad. Should never have happened. Bad.<\/p>\n

Caller<\/strong>: We can just be thankful that this wasn\u2019t a genuine mass movement of 250,000 of disgruntled types practicing civil disobedience like that commie King yapped about back in the day. Our response to THAT kind of nonsense might have put us in a pickle. <\/p>\n

Trump<\/strong>: (audible laughter)<\/p>\n

Caller<\/strong>: Yeah, I know, I know. No worries there. The sheep herding Democrats have all that under control and even that loony \u201cSquad\u201d is finally on board.(more audible guffaws) <\/p>\n

Trump<\/strong>: Great, just great! Those bitches have been a pain the ass with their daily sound bites.<\/p>\n

Caller<\/strong>: One unexpected silver lining is that that\u2019s now there\u2019s a welcome whiff of left-wing McCarthyism in the air that\u2019s using language like \u201csoft on fascism\u201d against other radicals. That means less resistance when we tighten the screws on civil liberties to stop domestic terrorism and safeguarding democracy. Our friends in Silicon Valley are gearing up and will be enormously helpful. (More chuckles)<\/p>\n

Trump<\/strong>: It\u2019s a beautiful thing, just beautiful!<\/p>\n

Caller<\/strong>: Don, you know as well as anyone how important it is to maintain the appearance of a robust democracy without any substance. If we don\u2019t tend to business, the ninety percent might start pickin\u2019 up pitchforks. That means demanding respect for all our sacred institutions. I mean, failure is a slippery slope…What next? Sowing doubts about the American Dream, the rule of law, the importance of voting for one of the two parties, American Exceptionalism and the glories of the free market? We need remain vigilant.<\/p>\n

Trump<\/strong>: (No response recorded)<\/p>\n

Caller<\/strong>: So, anyway. We\u2019re gonna be coming down on you pretty hard but don\u2019t take it personally. It\u2019s all Kabuki theater and we each play a part. It\u2019s been a glorious four years but your role now is to exit the stage. We\u2019ll call you if we need you but Biden is eager to carry on for us. Even before he was nominated, he assured us that nothing would fundamentally change and all the evidence so far suggests that\u2019s the case. Hell, stocks are at record highs and the Dems aren\u2019t going to tax or regulate us. <\/p>\n

Trump<\/strong>: What\u2019s a Kabuki?<\/p>\n

Caller<\/strong>: Don. Gotta go. I know we don\u2019t need to spell out the serious consequences of non-compliance. And hey, don\u2019t slam the White House door on the way out! We\u2019ll see you on the greens down at Mar-A-Lago.<\/p>\n

24 Hours later, Trump<\/strong> announces: \u201cI can assure everyone that I\u2019m doing everything possible to insure a smooth transition of power.\u201d<\/p>\n

The post Transcript of a Telephone Call to President Trump<\/a> first appeared on Dissident Voice<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n

This post was originally published on Radio Free<\/a>. <\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Caller: Don, as your departure draws near, we\u2019re calling to thank you for your service. As you know we had some serious doubts about you at the outset\u2026<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":318,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1744,1086,49,1745,4,14,542,1746],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6601"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/318"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6601"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6601\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6602,"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6601\/revisions\/6602"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6601"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6601"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/radiofree.asia\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6601"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}